Kaleidoscope
by ArtisansMuse
Summary: Watanuki reflects on this world without Yuuko, as he teeters along the thin line of his sanity,as he learns about the world, in the shop, unable to fight against the currents of fate,Doumeki though is determined to keep Watanuki up, and stay by his side.


Xxxholic Kaleidoscope

To Watanuki Kimihiro, life was like a kaleidoscope. It was beautiful and colorful a paragon of interest, fated to never have the same pattern twice to grace its lens. It represented an ever changing life, fated to never be boring, a life full of light. However, Watanuki knew that the greater the light the greater the shadow, everything had a consequence, everything had a price. Those were the exact words Yuuko had once said, those days when she still ruled the shop.

Like a kaleidoscope, if you didn't enjoy that one pattern enough and turned the dial it was likely that you were to never see that pattern again. Life wasn't constant nothing ever the same as it had been before. Everything changed, Watanuki knew that, and slowly. Slowly he was being driven insane, nothing ever constant, and it hurt him, hurt him as if were the deepest wound.

He walked through the shop into the lounge room remembering clearly the first day he had stepped into it. The first day he had met Yuuko, a beautiful woman, mature, selfish, cheerful, had an air of mystery and yet the only mother-like figure he could remember. The only woman or person for that matter to ever begin to care for him granted that her love was at times unreasonable and unpredictable.

He sat at the lounge chair staring at the ceiling still unsure if he were still dreaming or if he was still on the fringes of reality. Would Haruka, Doumeki's grand father come today? Or would Doumeki appear at his door step? Even now Watanuki wasn't sure, for him the line between reality and dreams was a slim line to walk, he felt at any moment he would fall. He wondered if Yuuko had felt this way. If Yuuko, also needed someone that was constant and solid to keep her grounded, had she found that in Maro and Moro along with the black manjuu Mokona?

Even now he was sure. He smoked the pipe, the tobacco's scent filled the air as he took in puff after puff of smoke, he hoped that Doumeki would come. He was the only person of the outside world who could come to the shop, he still had a reason to come, Himewari, had gone to a far off university to study, they were all leaving him alone now.

He righted the loose Kimono, closing his eyes, trying to shut himself in his own darkness, to stop the change, he wanted to stop time even if for a moment, but the price would take too much of a toll on his body. He wanted to shut out the pains of reality, close his eyes to the supernatural; he wanted cool darkness of the night, so it would shield him from the truth even if for a moment.

But, he knew he couldn't, even if this loneliness was eating at him from the bottom of his heart, he couldn't die, he couldn't leave the shop, not until Yuuko made her way back to them. Not until then could he step out of the shop, he was paying his time to be its master. He had sealed his fate, to this shop, and there was no turning back. He heard a chirp from the pipe fox Mugetsu and turned toward the sound drifting into unsure sleep, perhaps into another dream, hopefully darkness. But Watanuki knew, that things never went as one wished. He sighed, falling into the depths of his mind as he suspended himself in half sleep and half consciousness. Anything to keep him from dreaming, although it resulted in tiredness throughout the day, it was worth it was peace.

---

"Oi!" called a deep voice he had familiarized himself with to much. Slowly he opened his eyes to see, to his relief. Doumeki… He smiled up at his high school friend a wry grin on his face thanking fate for letting him know that Doumeki was still needed. "Yo, Doumeki." He called softly as he got up. As usual his friend looked down at his with a searching gaze, Watanuki waved it off. "I'm fine, really Doumeki, you don't need to worry." Doumeki stared at him for a minute more before holding out the bag of goods.

"I want to eat Sukiyaki." He said Watanuki felt his mouth twitch, as he remembered the first incident where Doumeki had asked him for such a dish. "Yeah. But first Doumeki…" Watanuki began as he wrapped his arms around the only being from his world to stay with him, he whispered in his ear, "Welcome home." He grabbed the bag of groceries and walked out, he would enjoy his time with Doumeki, because time, was growing all to short. Even if Watanuki could live fore such a long time, Shizuka, no, Doumeki couldn't, it merely wasn't fated to be.

Xxxholic

Doumeki sat at the lounge area opening up the tatami doors to look at the garden, "So what Watanuki said was true?" he asked the black Mokona who sat at his side, sipping at his sake. "Yeah, Watanuki wasn't hurt, but we still need to be careful, I'm sure you felt as well right? His mind is beginning to slowly unravel." Doumeki looked at the sake cup in his hand as a Sakura petal made its way to the watery surface. "Yeah." "He's looking for stability, all of the changing is going to fast for him, he needs a constant presence in his life, that neither I nor anyone in the magical realm can provide.

"Many of his friends are beginning to worry, Son of the Oden Fox, Ame Warashi, Neko Girl, and most of all the Zashiki Warashi. The only people he can rely on at this point are you and Himewari-chan but she's gone." Doumeki nodded as he worried after his friend. He remembered the times where Watanuki would act silly, or be silly those blessed high school days, but recently a more vacant look was taking over his friend. Doumeki wanted to protect him, hold him, and make sure that Watanuki never hurt.

"Yeah." He replied to his little black confidant, "I know." He would protect Watanuki. It was a given. He loved him, the silliness, the kindness, all of it, even now as Watanuki began to change, Shizuka still loved Watanuki. But, what could he do but stay beside Watanuki? He was a butterfly always flying to another place, whether it be magical or the human world and Doumeki himself was only human. "Food is ready!~" he heard the happy voice of Watanuki call as Doumeki turned around to see Watanuki dressed in the same white apron and white bandana. He resisted the urge to smile; at least this part of Watanuki would never change.

As usual he began to eat, at his normal pace while carefully gauging how much Watanuki was eating, to find that… He wasn't eating enough. Watanuki after three bites had stopped. Doumeki was afraid he didn't want his friend to wither away before him. So no matter what, Doumeki wanted Watanuki to eat. "Oi!" he called to him in his usual replacement for his name. "For the last time, it's not 'Oi!' its-" Without warning Doumeki stuffed food into Watanuki's open mouth, Watanuki having no choice but to eat it.

When he opened his mouth to retort something again, Doumeki merely stuffed more food in to keep him silent. This awkward, force feeding continued until Watanuki's plate was done. Doumeki looked at it satisfied. Even if Watanuki could live a long time he would die like anyone else if he didn't eat. "What's wrong with you Doumeki? You usually aren't this forceful." Stated Watanuki who sat before him.

Why couldn't he understand? Doumeki wondered to himself, but at least he knew how the Zashiki Warashi felt, this boy was slow, even in his ever changing self he was slow. Doumeki sighed and then grabbed Watanuki's arm and pulled the lighter being into his lap. Doumeki held him tightly, he knew Watanuki needed this, assurance that he was really there, he knew that Watanuki was stuck in a spiral of dreams and it was becoming harder to determine, reality from the other world.

He held him tight, and then he closed in for a kiss.

Xxxholic

Watanuki watched as Doumeki closed in and closed his eyes accepting it, their lips touched in a warm embrace as Doumeki pushed him down. Doumeki for what ever reason was being somewhat affectionate tonight a side of him that Watanuki had never seen. In some ways it scared him, and in some ways he wanted to know what would happen next. "Doumeki" he called softly as he hugged him around the neck, looking up at his face, this was fated to happen, there was no such thing as coincidence. He closed his eyes as Doumeki once again closed in for another kiss.

The pattern in life changed yet again, their age of friends had changed to something deeper. He held Doumeki close assuring himself that this was all real. Life was like a kaleidoscope. It was fated to always change and never remain the same. Even now as their relationship changed into something else, Watanuki could feel the shifting colors of that kaleidoscope change, as fate had intended it to be. As life had dictated for him, he soaked in Doumeki's warmth letting the red strings connect them, closer and closer together. Was this what Yuuko had predicted? When she pushed Doumeki on him for those many years? Was this what she saw when she read the wheel?

Did she see the colorful world as he did? Right now, that didn't matter, he snuggled closer to the warmth that Doumeki seemed to emit. Life was like an ever changing Kaleidoscope, and this was just one of its many changes. This was fate, and he was willing to accept it.

Watanuki, slid his fingers through Doumeki's hair and softly called, to his friend who was now quickly becoming a lover. In that one instant he could see the future. It would most likely end in a tragic way, but Watanuki was determined to enjoy this pattern of the kaleidoscopes, pattern of fate. He kissed his new lover, and softly called to him, "Shizuka."

This was my first ever oneshot and fan fiction of xxxholic. please be patient with me, I wanted it to be something…else… but it somehow turned out like this…

Anyway, thanks for reading, and please review, that would be nice…


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